I’m Sick of Chalk Lines — When Can I Be OK with My Parents Hugging My Kids Again?
It’s not enough. It’s not going to be enough. Since the weather has warmed up in this pandemic era — Aprilish I believe (though it did snow once in May, because, well of course it did) — I’ve drawn chalk lines separating my kids from my parents in my backyard. It sure has beaten FaceTime, but it’s not the same. We know it. My dad knows it. My mom knows it. The kids? Well, they’re resilient, right? My parents come over showering them with gifts, and instantly they play with them and they talk about it with my parents. I just started having my boys read to my parents to earn these rewards. It accomplishes two things: A) it hones their reading skills and B) it connects the kids further with their grandparents. But, like remote learning it’s not the same as human contact.
My dad and mom have asked me almost every day how they can hug my children for months. My mom has even asked if she could put a garbage bag around herself. I’ve told my dad to explore the merits of a “cuddle curtain” and if it’s available in the states. But, the truth is it’s not reliable. And, if my kids were able to hug my parents — if I allowed it — it’d be a “ring and run” as I call it. They’d quickly run, hug them, and run back. We’d probably ask both my parents and my kids to change their clothing and bathe in anti-bac. This is not what a hug is. It’s not enough. I’m constantly faced with the mortality of my parents, their need to physically interact with my kids, and the health of both involved parties plus the ripple effect it could have on everyone in their respective circles. I’ll also mention as an aside, my parents do go out often. They travel. They shop. They eat out. I’m not totally comfortable with the frequency of how much they venture out. I’m hopeful they wear a mask each time out and wash their hands thoroughly but they come from a different generation. In many ways, I feel they think they’re immune to this BS. But, I could be wrong. I’m going with my gut.
Overall, it sucks. I wish there was an announcement of some sort from Gov. Andrew Cuomo stating guidelines of how we can hug in the age of COVID-19. But, we all know it’s simply not reality right now. Or is it? I’ve read conflicting reports — most stating you just can’t. It’s always better to stay on the safe side though.
But, again here’s the thing. My mom is turning 70 in December and my dad is in his 70s. A hug would fill them with so much joy but it’s just an instant fix. It’s instant gratification that would only last in that very moment. I liken it, ironically (I may be misusing this word like Alanis did), to giving the kids a gift. They love it. They smile. They say ‘thank you.’ But, then it’s over. One hug will just make you want more, and I’m not willing to give one mind you two or three or four — for their safety and for my childrens. There is no light at the end of this so far. My parents are growing impatient and rightfully so. We all are. But, we have to ride this out. That is, if the Governor tells me it’s okay. I’d feel better hearing it from him than Orange Jesus in Washington. So where does this leave me? Where does this leave this article? Nowhere. This article has little facts. It has links to articles with facts but provides little. It’s just one son who feels for his parents and his kids. If there was a way, I’d find one. But, I don’t see it. Please comment if you have any ideas. If you found this article unfulfilling, that’s cool. If you can relate, share your story. We’re all just twisting in the wind here. I just want my parents to be happy but not at the expense of the health of my kids and at the expense of my parents.
